Why Goal Setting Often Fails (And What to Do Instead)
If you’ve ever felt the familiar sting of a failed New Year’s resolution or a half-abandoned project, you’re not alone. The conventional wisdom around “goal setting” often falls short, leading to frustration rather than lasting change. As James Clear emphasizes in Atomic Habits, and as Steve Shellenberger’s insights into sustainable change suggest, the problem isn’t necessarily your ambition; it’s often the approach itself.
We’re conditioned to fixate on the finish line: the lost 20 pounds, the completed marathon, the published book. While an endpoint can provide direction, an overemphasis on the result can paradoxically hinder progress.
Action Step Challenge: Focus on 1 change, just one, no more, no less. Make it fun.
- How about filling up 8 glasses of water every morning and not going to bed until they are all empty?
- Do one push up before you earn the right to eat anything.
- Stretch for 3 minutes, any kind of a stretch.
- One time per day, do your search through AI vs Google (or whatever you choose to use)
- Make it visual, how about a picture of the best you have ever looked? Post on your refrigerator, bathroom mirror, wallpaper on your cell phone and computer?
- Same concept, a picture of something you want badly in your life, which dream vacation, home, car, whatever.
- Get goals and thoughts out of your head and onto paper, somewhere you will see it every day?
The Tyranny of the End Result
Think about it. When your entire focus is on the outcome, your motivation becomes heavily dependent on achieving that specific thing. What happens when you hit a plateau, face an unexpected setback, or realize the path is harder than anticipated? The fragile edifice of your motivation, built on an external achievement, crumbles. You feel like a failure, and often, you abandon the pursuit entirely.
Moreover, fixating on the end result often neglects the crucial element of identity. As Clear argues, true, lasting change isn’t about what you want to achieve, but about who you wish to become. If your goal is to “write a book” but you don’t embody the identity of “a writer” your daily actions will constantly be at odds with your aspiration.
The Power of Process: Focus on the Change
Instead of chasing an elusive outcome, shift your attention to the process – the small, incremental changes you make consistently. This is where magic happens.
Shellenberger’s work often highlights the importance of understanding the underlying systems that drive our behavior. A goal is a singular event, but a system is a series of ongoing actions. If your system is flawed, even the most ambitious goal will remain out of reach.
Here’s how to reframe your approach:
- Shift from Outcome-Based to Identity-Based Goals: Instead of “I want to lose 10 pounds” ask “What kind of person am I trying to become?” If you want to be a healthy person, what does a healthy person do daily? They might prioritize sleep, choose nutritious foods, and move their body.
- Design Your Systems: Once you know who you want to be, design the tiny, repeatable actions that embody that identity. Don’t aim to “write a book” aim to “write 15 minutes every morning” Don’t focus on “getting fit” focus on “doing 10push-ups after waking up” or “taking a 20-minute walk at lunch.” These are small, manageable changes that build momentum.
- Make it Obvious, Attractive, Easy, and Satisfying: This is the core of Clear’s Atomic Habits.
- Obvious: Put your running shoes by the door.
- Attractive: Find a workout buddy or listen to your favorite podcast while you exercise.
- Easy: Start with two push-ups, not twenty.
- Satisfying: Track your streak, even with a simple checkmark, to see your progress. The immediate reward of consistency reinforces the habit.
- Embrace the Journey, Not Just the Destination: The real “win” isn’t hitting the goal; it’s becoming the kind of person who consistently takes action. The weight loss, the completed manuscript, the increased savings – these are simply byproducts of a well-designed system and a transformed identity.
By focusing on the minute, intentional changes you make each day, you build an unstoppable momentum. You’re not just aiming for a target; you’re becoming a new, improved version of yourself, one small action at a time. The results, as both Clear and Shellenberger would agree, will inevitably follow.
As you gain momentum, from wherever your starting point is, the proven method of Habit Stacking works. How about just one new habit per month, and once you get it down and it becomes the way to roll, add just one more. Done right you’ll end 2026 with 12 new habits that become routine.
Ready to start building a better you??
What’s one small, daily change you can make to embody the person you want to become?